"God's Plan for My 2013"... IS A SHOCKER

...So as I said in my last blog, it's not January 1st....

                                                         it IS, however, March 10th....

And as for "MY 2013 Plan".....well, I need to update my plan of action...
because of course God hadn't clued me in on the big picture until recently

                                                          ...or rather, better said, "His ways are not my ways."

(If you haven't done so as of yet, NOW would be a good time to read my last blog that Prequaled this one!)

















.....The details of the 6 focus areas for 2013 were in MY original planning efforts...
Cancel those details and insert: 

unpredictability, a little panicking, a few tears, a lot of shuffling/grasping for straws, a bundle of confusion, a plethora of trust, and plenty of adjusting and anxious excitement.










This picture says it all....

...and if you are still searching the picture trying to find the 6th person, you will need an ultrasound for that.

(disclaimer: to excuse what you may assume is my husband's angry, hopeless look of desperation less than enthusiastic "smile," he did not know we were pregnant in that moment/neither did I, and his face is merely reflecting the fact that he isn't a fan of random snow sports. You will be happy to know that he is a fan of having a 4th child....I mean, what other choice is there?!)



In the midst of all of this excitement, I would like to first acknowledge the many friends and family who have struggled with or are currently struggling with infertility issues and infant loss. After my initial selfish thoughts of how my life would change, a quick realization of the many people longing for such a moment brought me back to the blessing and miraculousness in conception and pregnancy, and gave me perspective. Those who are able to celebrate and support pregnant friends while carrying their own grief (magnified by the unfairness of it all) are amazing examples of grace in my life! 




Of course, the shock for many others of you may still be setting in for different reasons....
So to answer your Questions:

1. No, we weren't trying.
2. Yes, we thought we were done at 3 children.
3. Yes, we are in competition with the Capuanos and the Scallys for the most kids (...and with the Gibalas for my parents to win the title for the most grandkids...this baby bringing the count to 11).
4. Yes, I blame Maria and Leandra for praying for another Robinson baby!
5. Yes, we gave away all of my maternity clothes and baby stuff assuming we were done.
6. No, we are not moving into a house that we couldn't possibly afford bigger house.
7. Macey and Justus are, of course, excited and both want a sister...praying for the baby every night before bed.
8. Theo, of course, is confused and has no idea what's happening ...but after my "brilliant" explanation to him, now thinks that my nephew, "Baby Bryson," is in my stomach.
8. I am feeling fine so far.
9. Our original shock has faded to pure thankfulness and excitement (....but don't get me wrong, it took a good 24 hours or so).
10. I know this is my 4th, but I would still like to find out if we are having a boy or a girl.




As for "My 2013 Plans"...there will need to be a little adjusting...

1. Eating Healthier
Needless to say, I am going to LOSE the weight-loss competition severely
....and admittedly, I spent my first 2 weeks after the positive pregnancy test, eating everything I have avoided for the past 2 months.

...But I would like to attempt to get back on track and continue to honor the nature of this goal for the next 8 months and beyond...by eating more nutritiously and releasing my emotional attachments to food (minus any cravings the baby has...I wouldn't want to deprive him/her!)


2. Being Motivated/Finish what I Start
So much for a 5K....or can pregnant women do these things?? Is it possible to run a 5K in the 2nd trimester?
...Would it be socially acceptable for a pregnant woman to maybe walk a 5k? Do I care?
Unless my midwife says otherwise, I am going to attempt to finish...whether running or walking!

AT the same time...Maybe, just maybe, God is teaching me that this process is less about "finishing" and more about giving over the control of MY plans. I do think that finishing is an important quality that God has laid on my heart to give more credence to.....but I am finding that even more important than that is giving God control to guide the process and lead me out of my comfort zones (#3) when I would really like to have the say and the choice in what the process looks like.

As for the pregnancy, I have no choice but to finish what I started there....so, Well played, God. Well played!


3.Stretching Myself and My Comfort Zone
Well the stretching and lack of comfort is inevitable...in more ways than 1!


4. Investing in My Man
He deserves my time and attention now more than ever...and who says we can't take what those magazines call a "babymoon" (though I really hate that term!).

There is HUGE importance in putting my love for my husband at the top of the list, before even loving my kids....and showing my children the stability and solidarity in loving their father actively is an unbelievable positive value for them to observe.


5. Minimizing/Simplifying
We surely need to do some simplifying to make room for baby 4 in our sweet, little, 3-bedroom, city home. Plus, by baby number 4 you realize you don't need nearly the amount of stuff you had for baby number 1....hence, this little one is already helping me with perspective.


6. Taking Time for Me
Making "Time for Me" really does include intentionality and remembering that I am a better me for my family when I know who I am, which becomes clearer in my moments where I can think and process....hence: crafting, Bible Study, getting out with friends, etc.
(and the same for my hardworking husband...hence: basketball, men's group, sports, etc.)

 Not to mention, a whole new world of crafting opportunities is opening up! ....Sewing baby blankets, crocheting baby hats, decorating a tiny corner in our home for a little baby space...! (looks like a new pinterest board is in my near future)




So an official number 7 wasn't on my original 2013 plan...but it was an underlying theme...
7. Believing God
Now more than ever is a time I would like to take to meditate on the Lord in true "Be still and know that He is God" fashion.

I briefly referenced Beth Moore's study, "Believing God," in the previous blog...and if you've done this particular study, then you already know how encouraging and challenging it is in expanding your faith and motivating you to a more in-depth study of God's word.

He had been preparing me for "such a time as this."

I have been working on realizing the depth of each of the 5 principles within the study:
-God is who He says He is.
-God can do what He says He can do.
-I am who God says I am.
-I can do all things through Christ.
-God's word is alive and active in me.

With the help of some great discussion, I came to realize that I was limiting God in my life.

I am relieved that in the midst of this "surprise" in my life (as well as some other things going on with friends at the same moment) my faith continues to grow...and yet God hasn't changed AT ALL.
He is as strong and able and omniscient and loving and merciful and present today as he was weeks ago....months ago....decades ago....
He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The God who walks with me everyday is the same God who calmed the seas and raised the dead.
I am finally starting to realize the depth of who He is...and who I am in Him. I really hope I am done putting Him in a box and asking Him to live up to my expectations....because honestly, my expectations  are a drop in the bucket of His "potential."





So that wraps up my "Plan" ...which is actually more of a "Let's take things one day at a time and see where God is taking us" effort rather than an actual plan.

Plus....I trust God's plan much more!

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

Who doesn't love a baby reveal dinner of baby corn, baby carrots, baby shrimp, & baby back ribs in true "Full House" Becky and Jesse fashion?! ...not Paul's family; they loved it!

My 2013 Plan

The Outline of intimate details for My 2013 Plan for a better me .....

1. Eating Healthier

I entered not 1, but 2 weight-loss competitions with my sister (shout out to "Mission Slimpossible"), and my friend, and a bunch of their friends. I love competition and it's just about my only motivation for most things in my life, so it absolutely helped to kick me into gear for releasing the control that eating has in my life. Surprisingly, the competition that these ladies offered was actually less "trash talking" and more "encouragement," so that caught me off guard in the beginning.

But back to my obsession.... I'm an emotional eater, a boredom eater, a recreational eater, a social eater. Let's just say, there was only 1 time in my life where I wasn't thinking about food (....and that's only because my life at that time was in crisis mode, thinking of much more profound things). So yes, this goal was about nutrition and health (and helping to create healthy eating habits for my family), but it was also about releasing an idol and foothold in my life. 

2. Being Motivated/Finishing What I Start

While I can be a very motivated individual when I get something in my head, follow-through is not my strong point....finishing is actually a profound weakness in my life.

I am coming to a point in my life where I prayerfully consider even committing. I tend to over-commit to anything from PTA to Bible studies to social events to relationships to sports to anything my kids find interesting, and then I only go halfway; so I started off the year weeding out things that were overwhelming and simply "filling up" my life, and anything that was impeding the growth of my family. This is NOT easy. Saying no to things that tend to be "good" is VERY difficult....saying no to things you actually WANT to do is even harder.

I came to terms with the fact that committing to things that require only a one-time fulfillment were more easily decided than long-term commitments, and so it wasn't very difficult in the midst of my weight-loss challenges and my goal of "a healthier me" to decide to sign up for my first ever 5K (after years of complaining I have bad knees, which is true; and saying that running is an evil torture, also true). I made sure lots of friends joined me to keep me company/accountable. I invested actual dollars toward registering, knowing that as "frugile" as I am, I may disappoint a friend by prematurely withdrawing, but I could not risk my husband's hard-earned cash by not going through with it (...and I understand that is ridiculous, so maybe that will be a future blog). So I anticipated the May 4th Color Run in Rochester, NY ...and we even thought of the best team name ever, "Run or Dye Trying!"

3. Stretching Myself and My Comfort Zone

I decided it was time to take a leap of faith in venturing forward in something I have never done before...and in something I always excused myself from because of lack of faith in my abilities......see #2!

4. Investing in My Man

This year marks our 10th anniversary! Anyone who gets to the 10th year of marriage and says it was easy or pretty is a liar! The first 6 months, maybe....the rest of it....a lot of work, a lot of compromise, a lot of complaining about how the dishwasher is loaded wrong. Then somewhere along the line, you both mature and you push the small stuff aside, maybe hit a crisis along the way, and you realize that you wouldn't want to wade these waters with anyone else! 

The last 4 years of our marriage have been a gift from God of redemption, growth, love, and true intimacy....the past year, even moreso....maybe even a "year of jubilee," if you will. 

So planning a second honeymoon that would trump our original honeymoon was of course part of the 2013 plan.... leaving the kids with...whomever...and escaping the world and responsibility to bask in marital bliss at some tropical location just made sense! 

5. Minimizing/Simplifying

Anyone who has watched the show "Hoarders" has walked away ready to get rid of every unnecessary item in their home, as well as any potential pets that they have only considered getting. I am no different.
That show scares the life out of me! If you watch that show and don't wonder that maybe someday you could end up walking hallways of stacked up garage sale finds that you could never possibly need or use at any point in this lifetime....well then, congratulations! (but then again, that may just mean you are already a hoarder...since they do say that only truly sane people question whether or not they are crazy.)
With that said, I no longer watch Hoarders....but I would still like to simplify our lives....and I would like to prevent my husband from every thinking, "maybe, just maybe, I should call that show 'Hoarders' about my wife."

In the same regards, I remember a very long time ago, a friend telling me that she watched a documentary (or read a magazine article, or whatever) showing different families from different countries standing outside of their homes with the entire contents of their life. At some homes the entire yard was overflowing, and at others they fit all of their worldly possessions in their arms. As an American, I am overwhelmed with consumption and convenience, so of course I have more than I need....do we really need those 10 extra toothbrushes in the bathroom closet in case a group twice the size of our family suddenly decides they have an intense need for fresh bristles at a moments notice? Doubtful! (...Though maybe the Cabreras would disagree, since they own a dental practice.)

So little by little this year, I would like to go through EVERY closet, EVERY room, EVERY cabinet, EVERY toy bin, and the contents of the ENTIRE basement in order to empty out the unnecessaries, materially and emotionally speaking. 

 I want my home to be full of joy and forgiveness and laughter and understanding and giving and compassion and grace and quality time and love....Not stuff!

6. Taking Time for Me

My sister-in-law, Maria and I used to have craft night every Monday night. We have loved finding Pinteresty ideas to create....we have even ventured to 2 (soon to be 3) sewing classes! 

I realized that making time to be creative is such a positive outlet for me. It's not only enjoyable, but therapeutic (hence my over-enthusiasm of home-made birthday parties for my kids!)....AND... I end up with something to show for my time! (unlike when I "outlet myself" into reality tv shows)

So while my Monday nights have been replaced with girls Bible study night (an amazing supplement to my schedule for "me time"....while also including God and some of the best friends a girl could find!) with Beth Moore (please do one of her studies if you haven't already!!!), the crafting thing has become a link to something inside me that I thought was lost...a sense of being creative, being productive, being relaxed. Making time for creative outlet in 2013 will better me and in the end, my family....Consider it my momentary break from anxiety and my life-link to sanity.

...So there you have it....the beginning outline of my hopes and dreams for this year...and it's not even January 1st...