My Braveheart-inspired 2015

Galatians 5:1

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

A few years ago, my husband started doing a "theme word for the year" instead of a new year's resolution. 

Since joining him in choosing my own word, I have never looked back...because I've never been better at following through on anything the way I have with my precious word. 

I mean, it's a word....a single word. Sure it's probably loaded with a lot of meaning and possibly tied to some kind of emotional baggage, but in and of itself, all of the complicated goals and feelings are boiled down to one simple word.

I can remember A WORD for 365 days. 

I may not be able to remember my entire list of motherly responsibilities that pile up on my mental list, or everything on my grocery list as I stand in Wegmans, or the checklist of goals I had for projects to improve our home, or the calendar of doctor appoitnments and parent-teacher conferences and service projects and neighborhood meetings that I agreed to attend...but I CAN remember one word.

So after a year of forgetting my wallet at the store, and locking myself out of the house, and missing the "coffee and conversation with the superintendant" yet again, and washing that abandoned load of laundry in the washing machine for the 3rd time, imagine how surprised and proud of myself I was when I made it through all of 2014 still being able to recall my word....and not only that, but having had embraced my word by processing it through concrete steps and effort. 

(exhibit A: #NoClutterNovember) 

So enough about 2014....it is now 2015. 

And while last years word came more easily to me, this year was a different story. I had seen how much meaning my old word had developed with me in those 365 days, so I felt the pressure to really think about what word would be "Thee Perfect Word" for 2015. 

I threw around words like: 

kindness

self-control

grace

love

charity

patience
moderaation

...you get the picture. (I obviously have a lot to work on!)

All good words.....

But none of them seemed the exact fit I was hoping for...they just didn't "feel right." 

I asked my husband what his word was; He chose "commitment"...such an honorable word!....and one that actually feels like a very worthy word with which to label an entire year. 

I gave myself the whole month of January to see what resonated with me. 

And then, out of nowhere, almost to the end of my January deadline, it just came....

Freedom.

I know it's a very loaded, powerful, all-encompassing word....believe me, I know! 

(anyone who has watched "Braveheart" knows!)

...and maybe that's why it is perfect for 2015. 

Let's face it, I am working on "simplifying" still (that didn't just end December 31st, 2014 when it was "expiring" as my "theme word"), but anyone who knows me well knows that I am not going to go the simple, fluff route. 

I'm either picking the most symbolic word I can find, or I'm quitting. (not saying that's a great personality trait....but it's the truth!) 

I love all things symbolism! 

(hence, my new hobby of making dreamcatchers & embroidered inspirations....shout out to "HoopDreamsArt" on Instagram) ;)

(Sidenote: I'm going to need you to vote on which frame to go with.)

I had been trying to stear away from such a complicated and introspective word....but.... I do feel ready to embrace the power that it offers. 

I think we are all entrapped by certain behaviors or ideologies or habits or lifestyles or thoughts that keep us "prisoners." Ultimately it's the Lord who is the only one who can offer true freedom and peace from whatever it is that weighs heavy on our shoulders. And while it's so easy for me to release the big things to God, it doesn't stop me from trying to do "the daily" on my own.

...and the "yoke" mentioned in Galatians 5:1 is legit, because the tension in my shoulders is in desperate need of a visit to "Massage Envy."

So, I have no idea how to begin to embrace "freedom" since it's more of a concept and less of an action..... but I have 340 days left to figure it out! 

(...And please note: come December 31st, 2015, you better believe I'm dancing to a little  "Mary-Mary" Shackles wherever I'm at...however 1999ish that is of me!)

All The Things: Goodbye #noClutterNovember

Don't worry, you didn't miss #Days25through30....

As prepared as I was to continue this goal to completion (even while travelling for the holidays), 

I almost didn't make it. 

After being emersed in disfunctional family confrontations and fighting festive Thanksgiving celebrations with my family back home, I didn't have it in me to continue processing while away, (even if I DID do my due diligence of  "pre-clutter removal" before I left on our holiday trip!). 

So while the blog got sidelined, the efforts did not

...but I will admit that after not blogging for 3 consecutive days, I was tempted to just leave the project "open-ended" (which is my typical, less-effective style)...however, if I had quit, it would have been devestating to me and my psyche.

...

"The work of salvation means that in your real life things are dramatically changed. You no longer look at things the same way. Your desires are new and the old things have lost their power to attract you. One of the tests for determining if the work of salvation in your life is genuine is-

has God changed the things that really matter to you?"

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

...

At some point during this month-long journey, my husband and I read the above quote, and I thought,

 "THAT is what I want for myself in the end!"

I want to...... 

look at things in a different way, 

loose my attraction for the old things, and 

let God shift my perspective for things that really matter to me.

...Needless to say, while God has redeemed my life, there are a few areas that need, what I would like to call, "redemption of perspective"

...so in that way, I'm not quite through #theminimalistproject. 

BUT...

there has been progress as evidenced by this text exchange when my friend offered me a valance to match Sadie's bedding....

...and then there was that time that I looked this "75%OFF -clearance sign" in the face and gave it the cold shoulder.

...Because even though you "can," doesn't mean you "should."

To some, you may have this self-control already mastered....

For me, I'm learning to "Just Say No" to a good deal excess. 

I mean, I always knew how to say No,....I just didn't want to. 

I'm learning how to "want it."

So that all leads to....

November 25th, my 25 things:

(representative of ....Maternity Clothes...

because we are done having sweet, sweet Robinson babies, 

but also because we already have a sweet Robinson baby, times 4!)

#Day25

November 26th, my 26 things:

Yep, those are seashells from our first ever family vacation to the Jersey shore...2012! 

I wish I could explain the significance of that trip, but these shells should tell you the whole story....Oh, wait! They mean nothing to you, and even after looking at them, you still know nothing about our meaningful family vacation?! 

Oh, that's right, that's because they are just shells....

which is why they had to go.

[But I did keep just 1 big one to make into a Christmas ornament to commemorate our trip....

because 1 is enough! 

(unless you're talking Robinson babies, and then 4 would be enough)]

#Day26

November 27th, my 27 things:

(outgrown winter coats and Paul's excess clothes...because #America)

#Day27

November 28th and November 29th, my 57 things:

Lots of baby foods....praise God, Sadie's palate repair means new textures and foods, finally! 

(...and next to go is the pump and all the pump parts, because after 13 months, enough is enough.)

#Day28 #Day29

November 30th, my 30 things:

...this one is a bit more conceptual.

I was challenged to spend less time on my phone....and Man! It's harder than you think....

but in limiting my access to the ironically-titled,"social world," that is my smart phone, 

I gained over 30 hours of my life back this month. 

My husband would be the first to tell you that I could spare 100+ more hours away from devices, but it's what I have to offer at #Day30, and I'm hoping to improve my time.

I wish I could be prouder of this area of progress, but to be honest, my heart wasn't totally in it...so this one isn't done yet! 

It became evident to me that this one is all about priorities, and I've got to get mine in order...ASAP.

I wish at #Day30 I could say it only took 30 days to break a lifetime of habitual impulses, but any good "recovery program" is going to take longer than 4 weeks. 

Just don't count me out yet!

I'm in it to win it. 

I may have waned from the blog a bit, but I didn't quit.

....I didn't quit!

I have come to find that this journey was more than getting rid of the clutter in my house, it is about gaining self-control, and discipline, and contentment, and especially balance.

So for one last "Goodbye"...

"Goodbye, good inentions. Hello, 'letting go, and letting God'....and remembering 'it's never to late to change!'"

#Day24: Fear of Christmas Surplus

Gift-giving is my love language.
Maybe you have been on the receiving end of this "love,' or maybe you have heard my excitment in getting a gift from you...either way, I just love to love people by showering them with some random thing that made me think of them.

 For me, what "counts" truly is "the thought."

For example.....when Paul and I were dating, he had remembered that my favorite Easter candy was Robin Egg Whopper thingys. When I picked him up from work one night (back in the days when he was a fine, red-shirted Target employee working his way through college), he surprised me with an entire bag of chocolately, malty deliciousness.
I decided that very day that I would marry him
(...okay, maybe that last part was a stretch, but I WAS really happy ...and felt appreciated and worthwhile. 
and Yes! A bag of robin eggs did that for me.)

So you can see why I would want other people to feel that same way!




But I have to change some things in my life....and one of those changes that needs to happen is the way my mind works when I'm shopping for others.

So just like any 5 year old person learning some self-control, I need to have a list of questions for perspective and decision-making when I'm in that moment....and here it is:

1. Is the "love language" of the person I am buying this for expressed with "gifts?" (or maybe is it acts of service, or words of affirmation, or physical touch, or whatever the other one is?)

2. Does this special someone need whatever it is that I am buying them or am I extending my clutter issue onto them?

3. Is there another way I can show them love that doesn't involve "stuff?"



This mental process is a sad reality, but necessary.
(..and there's a good chance that after I answer all those questions, I might be able to give myself permission to still buy you that something! so don't fret.)





..Christmas...what does this all have to do with Christmas?!

I'm scared... I'm scared of December 25th getting filled with lots of "stuff" to replace all the stuff I just eliminated.

Paul and I already have our "3 gifts for each kid" commitment in place.
We pulled it off last year, and while it was hard for me to commit to, it was amazingly fulfilling!
The kids were happy; noone was overstimulated; and they got things they actually appreciated rather than a whole lot of random crap. ("Quality versus quantity," if you will.)
...And then we were able to tie it in with the symbolism of 3 gifts that the wise men gave to Jesus
...so with a Bible reference to complete this new perspective for Jesus' Birthday celebration, we came full circle and decided it was the way to go for us.

The problem lies in the fact that my kids have 3 aunts and uncles, 4 grandparents, 7 cousins, and 2 great-grandparents....and I guarantee at least as many gifts coming there way for each of them!  Blessed for sure...connundrum for sure.

I love the generosity of everyone in our family.
I love the thoughtfulness.
I love their spirit of Christmas and generosity.
I love the love they have for us.
...But I'm still scared.

So here's my action plan so that I don't have to start back at square 1 on January 1st!


Step 1: Release everyone from my process, and let them buy the kids what they feel is fun and reasonable.

Step 2: Have the kids go through their toys sometime before Christmas to donate to some other kids who could enjoy them even more than we currently are.

Step 3: Discuss, as our little family of 6, the fact that anything we aren't appreciating or taking care of is better off getting used by someone else...and donate it, regardless of if it's an old or new toy/item.

Step 4: Consider getting gifts for our kids that are activity-based and not "things." (ie. museum membership, movie passes, giftcards for fast food or chuck e cheese)..or consumables rather than clutter (ie. fave snacks).

step 5: Practice restraint in our own holiday purchases.

Step 6: Release my feeling of obligation to keep things out of responsibility and sentimentality to express appreciation for the generous giver of said items.

step 7: Enjoy the holiday and focus on time with each other rather than the stuff.

Step 8: Let the kids enjoy "their stuff" :)










With that said...


I could take the easy way out on #Day24 with this text I got from some friends...

...and while very tempting, I went, instead with this...

November 24th, my 24 things:

I have been collecting some things since summer (in my defense, I thought I would be giving these away before November!) for students at the Milton Hershey School where my brother and sister-in-law work as House Parents to 11(?) interestingly diverse pre-teen boys. The school is amazing in what they provide and offer for the boys in way of educational opportunities and supplies....but at Christmas, I truly enjoy showing them that they are a part of our extended family by getting them some additions to their library and free-time supplies. (love language!) 

...so Hunger Games and RipSticks all around!

I found it ironic that on the day as I was packing for a trip to Pittsburgh to meet up with my family, I got together the items to take to my brother, and of course there were exactly 24!

I love it!...and I do not believe in coincidences.

So..."Goodbye, supplimental activities for the coolest house of kids on the Hershey campus! I was stressing out trying to keep track of you until I could get you out to Hershey, so needless to say, I'm glad to release you!
...and releasing you is a good reminder that I will get to give a lot of other things to the ones I love by December 25th, and giving is totally in-line with this process!"

...and THIS is just how sweet my brother's wife sister is!

Thank you, Sarah! You make me happy to send my offerings your way ;)

#Day22-23: "Saving" or "Savoring," and The Road Less Travelled

Yesterday I did a guest post for a friend's website, The Mommy Happiness Project, about #theminimalistproject. 

I was honored to share a glimpse into this month's journey for #noClutterNovember....but I also feared that without travelling with me on days 1 through 21 with The Breaking of Naivete, it would be impossible for new readers to grasp exactly what this month truly means to me.

In any case, I didn't want to turn down an opportunity to share with others what I am learning even if there's the risk of revealing my insecurities to perfect strangers; the hope that it would speak to someone else out there on a very personal and relatable level makes it worth it for sure. 

Working on breaking an old habit, creating a new one, and unpacking the emotional process that goes along with all of that is draining in itself....add to that, blogging......and you get the picture. 

I want to quit....but I don't want to quit. 

Make sense? 

So every time I push through and take action to (...in the words of Nike) "just do it," there is something very satisfying in knowing that I didn't take the easy road. I'm finding that the effort to take the hard path is worth every ounce of emotional strength that is expended.

...but the weekend also deserves a blogging day off, so #day22 AND #day23...

November 22nd, my 22 things:

But even with a blogging break, you gotta keep the momentum going
...and so when I found this Hallmark bag of cards from my oldest child's baby shower (...which happened in 2005!), I also found my #day22.


Why do I still have these? I don't know! ...I do know that I am a sentimental fool, so there's that.

If I think about what's behind saving "momentos," I guess it's about wanting to appreciate people and how they have touched me with either a gift or a gesture.
...I also have a TERRIBLE memory (...I have actually inquired of my psychologist friend as to whether it's possible that I have early-onset alzheimers...true story! ...and he thinks, "No!"), and I don't want to devalue someone's "gift" by forgetting the role they played in supporting me during a life transition...so I sav a "token."

If someway..somehow... we can all just agree to accept gifts without feeling the need to reciprocate in any way, that would be perfectly gracious for relasing me from "saving moments" and just let me savor the moment for what it is...a moment...NOT a momento!

continuing on...

November 23th, my 23 things:

#Day23 was a family effort....
My poor husband said he wanted to support me by purging something that was hard for him to let go of...his Smoker!
This particular item, he actually named and refers to as "Sally," so that should give you a bit of perspective on his level of attachment. Few men enjoy smoking meat as much as Paul, and a few friends of ours actually refer to our home as "Manchester Meat Association."
...But it was time for Sally to go. She was rusting out and had, for sure, seen better days.

In addition to my husband letting go of the love of  his life something special to him, my daughter, the "saver" representing our children, (after all, I saved her baby shower cards for almost 10 years, so I don't wonder where she gets it!), decided she was ready to finally part with some things as well.
I was so proud of her, because letting go of stuff for her is right up there with attending a funeral.

(don't ask about the painted mannequin head!)

I am honored by the support my family showed me today, because...
1. I needed it!
and 2. They have dealt with me spending much of my time on decluttering and processing this month without (yet!) being able to reap the benefits of "The Great Purge of 2014."




So, "Goodbye, sentimental-group-effort-of-clutter. We shall treasure you in our memories, but not so much in our house."





and P.S. In case you were wondering if some stranger in a pickup truck held together by rope and duct tape took the broken pieces of smoker from our "bermuda triangle" curbside, the answer is...of course! And in record time.

#Day21: A Plan, A Place, and A Price

Today is dedicated to Operation Christmas Child, since all items leaving my house today are soon to travel to distant lands with the message that "God cares, and so do some random people in America."

November 21st, my 21 things:

plus, add all of these...

and you finally get these...

#day21's boxes of love.






Every year in November, my husband and I take our kids to the store to let them each fill a shoebox of toys, toiletries, and other items to donate to another child....
but after Christmas last year, I ran into the clearance rack at Target

....enough said!

I found tons of stocking stuffers at 70-90% off and was able to accumulate a ton of items perfect for sending overseas to some special kids.
...Now, at this point I would probably not condone "stocking up" on anything.... but I feel this one is still justified for 3 reasons:
1. I had a plan with a specific purpose (and date!) when I bought them.
2. I had a place set aside for them, so they were organized (and I knew where to find them!).
3. I spent less on all of this than I would have if each of my kids made just 1 box.

One reason without the others would have nullified any justification, because....
Not much is worse in #theminimalistproject than buying something on a great deal, but forgetting you had it (or misplacing it) and then finding it after the fact.
...Or what about buying something at such a great deal, putting it in a very specific place where you know exactly where to find it....but then it just sits collecting dust, because the opportunity to use it never arises.

So the key is to have:a plan, a place, and a price.

With that said, would I stock up again this year after Christmas? ...I don't know.

I am really attempting a new journey of eliminating excess, and while these boxes of items are in a completely different category (namely, a mission of generosity and service), it's the year of my life to minimize temptaion and break habit.....
the beloved Target clearance rack isn't really the best place for me to be hanging out with that in mind ;)


But regardless of what I decide to do, the moral of the story is...
I'm letting go. I'm learning to simplify. And my heart is releasing the myth of control.
....all of this, while also embracing generosity and giving!
#noclutterNovember





So..."Goodbye, sweet deals. Your purpose has finally arrived, and I let you go with joy and zero regret of having purchased you in the first place.
I love it when a plan comes together...but I must say that I'm glad to have an empty bin in place of your bulk."



PS special, special THANKS to those who have helped add to this giving project: 
my mil, Denise "Grandma" Robinson 
my book club friend, Jessica "F-squared"
and the teacher-extrodinaire, Ms. Bird
You ladies are invaluable! (And I know that it will all come back to you in one way or another.) 

#Day20: So-long, old "Friend" ...and take your Ketchup packets with you!

Even as a young kid I struggled with anxiety. 

...I didn't know it was anxiety back then, but somewhere around the late twenties I put 2 and 2 together to realize that not everyone in the world feels overwhelmed with scattered thoughts and a disorganized lifestyle mixed with fears, awkwardness, and extreme high's and low's. 

So hearing, "you have anxiety," instead of sounding like a depressing prognosis, became a relief  of: "oh, yeah, that makes so much sense."

The only problem with accepting that you are affected by something, is then realizing that you have to do something about it....or not. 

(...Though the "not" doing something about it leads to a pretty hopeless outcome.)

Enter, "eliminate clutter" on the list of  "doing something about that anxiety"

(....and then if you're me, you push that way down on the to-do list until you realize you can't delay it any longer.)

Hence, #noclutternovember and #theminimalistproject.

Trust me when I say it took a lot of Bible studies, encouragement from good friends, and arguments with my husband discussions with my man, before I felt brave enough (and strong enough!) to tackle organization and all the emotions that come along with changing bad habits and natural inclinations for the long term.

I used to look around and say:

"I can't keep up with the house" or 

"Why does it take hours to organize everything and minutes to destroy it all" or 

"Where does all this stuff come from?" or

"I don't even know where to start" or

"I'm so overwhelmed, I don't have it in me to even try" or

"What if I fail?" or

"I wish I could just snap my fingers and make this fix itself" or

"Is it socially acceptable to stay in bed with the covers over my head?"

....But somewhere after asking about the acceptability of sleeping for a week, I came to the point where I now  realize that it's the process and the effort that I put into something that matters and equates to change, not necessarily the short-term successes. I have to be in this for the long haul and the journey.

So I am now attempting to try to create new habits and different responses to my anxiety with the internal dialogue of, "I may not be able to do everything, but I can do something," 

...and then I work on focusing some tunnel-vision into a very small, specific zone, and just aim for 1 reachable goal at a time.... like #day20

November 20th, my 20 things:

Call me crazy, but this was my "just in case" stash in the fridge door.
(After all, "You can never be too prepared (or too anxiety-ridden) in stocking up to protect your family from the crisis of running out of ketchup and soy sauce.")




So..."Goodbye, anxiety....you're the cause of all 85% of my problems, and while you and I have been 'friends' for a long time, I resent you and your stash of condiments. I know you may loiter outside my front door, but I really hope I have enough sense not to let you inside."










PS Isn't God great to let me find this anchor made by one of my kids YEARS ago, while cleaning out clutter the other day?!  Oh, the irony! sitting amidst the clutter.

...Had to keep it and put it on the Christmas tree.....for at least the season ;)

#Day19: Papers

I'm over halfway through this month, and I'm tired...and I have a husband who deserves some of my "blogging time" as per my blog realization from yesterday....so right to the point...

November 19th, my 19 things:

I now know why paper beats rock....it suffocates whatever it has overwhelmed!

Every "good clutterer" has a supply of random papers throughout their house...sitting around taunting you and multiplying like gremlins.
(Even organized people have to deal with papers...so I'm told.)
My goal for the past few months has been to keep all incoming papers consolidated to one area...in an "in-box" ...out of sight.
While I still find random papers on various shelves in our house, we are doing so much better with sending them to their designated area (mostly the trash)... I will chalk that up as "progress," even if I can't yet consider it success.
So #day19 of #theminimalistproject for #noClutterNovember is a sampling of 19 random pieces of paper, from school picture day announcements (which happened in October) to catalogs and flyers.

I would love to challenge you to go through every paper in your house at one shot. I promise the time it takes won't compare to the relief you feel when you're done.

So "Goodbye, papers of every color shape and size. I need my home back, and I'm taking it from you, one recycling bin and fire pit at a time."