#Day24: Fear of Christmas Surplus

Gift-giving is my love language.
Maybe you have been on the receiving end of this "love,' or maybe you have heard my excitment in getting a gift from you...either way, I just love to love people by showering them with some random thing that made me think of them.

 For me, what "counts" truly is "the thought."

For example.....when Paul and I were dating, he had remembered that my favorite Easter candy was Robin Egg Whopper thingys. When I picked him up from work one night (back in the days when he was a fine, red-shirted Target employee working his way through college), he surprised me with an entire bag of chocolately, malty deliciousness.
I decided that very day that I would marry him
(...okay, maybe that last part was a stretch, but I WAS really happy ...and felt appreciated and worthwhile. 
and Yes! A bag of robin eggs did that for me.)

So you can see why I would want other people to feel that same way!




But I have to change some things in my life....and one of those changes that needs to happen is the way my mind works when I'm shopping for others.

So just like any 5 year old person learning some self-control, I need to have a list of questions for perspective and decision-making when I'm in that moment....and here it is:

1. Is the "love language" of the person I am buying this for expressed with "gifts?" (or maybe is it acts of service, or words of affirmation, or physical touch, or whatever the other one is?)

2. Does this special someone need whatever it is that I am buying them or am I extending my clutter issue onto them?

3. Is there another way I can show them love that doesn't involve "stuff?"



This mental process is a sad reality, but necessary.
(..and there's a good chance that after I answer all those questions, I might be able to give myself permission to still buy you that something! so don't fret.)





..Christmas...what does this all have to do with Christmas?!

I'm scared... I'm scared of December 25th getting filled with lots of "stuff" to replace all the stuff I just eliminated.

Paul and I already have our "3 gifts for each kid" commitment in place.
We pulled it off last year, and while it was hard for me to commit to, it was amazingly fulfilling!
The kids were happy; noone was overstimulated; and they got things they actually appreciated rather than a whole lot of random crap. ("Quality versus quantity," if you will.)
...And then we were able to tie it in with the symbolism of 3 gifts that the wise men gave to Jesus
...so with a Bible reference to complete this new perspective for Jesus' Birthday celebration, we came full circle and decided it was the way to go for us.

The problem lies in the fact that my kids have 3 aunts and uncles, 4 grandparents, 7 cousins, and 2 great-grandparents....and I guarantee at least as many gifts coming there way for each of them!  Blessed for sure...connundrum for sure.

I love the generosity of everyone in our family.
I love the thoughtfulness.
I love their spirit of Christmas and generosity.
I love the love they have for us.
...But I'm still scared.

So here's my action plan so that I don't have to start back at square 1 on January 1st!


Step 1: Release everyone from my process, and let them buy the kids what they feel is fun and reasonable.

Step 2: Have the kids go through their toys sometime before Christmas to donate to some other kids who could enjoy them even more than we currently are.

Step 3: Discuss, as our little family of 6, the fact that anything we aren't appreciating or taking care of is better off getting used by someone else...and donate it, regardless of if it's an old or new toy/item.

Step 4: Consider getting gifts for our kids that are activity-based and not "things." (ie. museum membership, movie passes, giftcards for fast food or chuck e cheese)..or consumables rather than clutter (ie. fave snacks).

step 5: Practice restraint in our own holiday purchases.

Step 6: Release my feeling of obligation to keep things out of responsibility and sentimentality to express appreciation for the generous giver of said items.

step 7: Enjoy the holiday and focus on time with each other rather than the stuff.

Step 8: Let the kids enjoy "their stuff" :)










With that said...


I could take the easy way out on #Day24 with this text I got from some friends...

...and while very tempting, I went, instead with this...

November 24th, my 24 things:

I have been collecting some things since summer (in my defense, I thought I would be giving these away before November!) for students at the Milton Hershey School where my brother and sister-in-law work as House Parents to 11(?) interestingly diverse pre-teen boys. The school is amazing in what they provide and offer for the boys in way of educational opportunities and supplies....but at Christmas, I truly enjoy showing them that they are a part of our extended family by getting them some additions to their library and free-time supplies. (love language!) 

...so Hunger Games and RipSticks all around!

I found it ironic that on the day as I was packing for a trip to Pittsburgh to meet up with my family, I got together the items to take to my brother, and of course there were exactly 24!

I love it!...and I do not believe in coincidences.

So..."Goodbye, supplimental activities for the coolest house of kids on the Hershey campus! I was stressing out trying to keep track of you until I could get you out to Hershey, so needless to say, I'm glad to release you!
...and releasing you is a good reminder that I will get to give a lot of other things to the ones I love by December 25th, and giving is totally in-line with this process!"

...and THIS is just how sweet my brother's wife sister is!

Thank you, Sarah! You make me happy to send my offerings your way ;)