I'm not sure why....but this year marks the first year of an awakening to the realization that Christmas isn't a happy festiveness amidst a season of merriment for everybody.
I know! I know! Pretty ridiculous on my part to just now be realizing this!
To explain....I've always been aware that there are "some who may not have much this Christmas" or that "this time of year can be hard for a lot of people;" but I never let the reality of those truths sink into my core.
Call it naivete....but the reality only just hit me earlier this month and has slowly but surely imprinted itself on my heart.
...Maybe it's seeing firsthand that so many in my neighborhood and my childrens' schools will not have a Christmas that includes big dinners, lots of family, and a plethera of gifts...or really any Christmas at all;
maybe it's the fact that I have stood by friends who have experienced so much loss in the past 11 months and are simply waiting for the year to end;
maybe it's the nationwide mourning for the children and teachers lost in the Connecticut massacre, and the knowledge that there are parents who will never see Christmas the same again;
maybe it's seeing so many people out of work, wondering how to cover the bills, trying anything they can to provide for their families;
or maybe it's the fact that so many have come from or are in the midst of an abusive situation that just won't give them a reprieve on December 25th...
and for each of them, no amount of garland and tinsel will take away the cloud of oppression that has entrapped them in grief daily...only to be mocked by those complaining about having to wrap so many gifts this month.
This season that I find to be such a beautiful expression of peace, love, joy, hope, cheer, and giving is a season of depression, bad memories, and magnification of desperation to many....only exasperated by the fact that most everyone else around them is singing along to "Here Comes Santa Claus" (that started taunting us from the radio over 2 months beforehand).
As a kid, my dad used to light up a huge homemade billboard-type sign across the front of our house. From the age of 3 to about 13, I would see the words "Jesus Lives. Merry Christmas" in bold lights every time I walked into my house...which, around the time I turned 13, was swapped out for the "No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace. Merry Christmas" greeting.
I saw my dad painstakingly carve and drill and wire those structures to share Jesus with the world for that one month out of the year. And it was those signs that made me feel like I was doing my part in "remembering the true meaning of Christmas" simply by living in "that house with the huge Jesus sign." Since I did my part by living with the signage, I felt it gave me permission to then enjoy my holiday, write long lists of presents I wanted, complain if my parents suggested we go serve at a food kitchen for the holiday, or compete with my siblings in unwrapping our nativity figures with the hope of being the one to unwrap baby Jesus, ultimately crowning one of us as the winner...the winner of....umm, i don't know, "winner of Christmas" maybe...?! (as for the legacy of competitiveness in my family, that will be a separate blog at a later time) But while we were racing to unwrap that manger, I wasn't thinking of it's significance. (maybe once it was set up I'd stare at that angel hanging from the nail at the peak of the stable and sing a little "Away in a Manger," but during the sibling rivalry, none of that symbolism was crossing my mind.)
The hope of Christmas is historically and traditionally celebrated as the birth of God's Son...God in human form to experience life with the same limitations as each of us, but being perfect and blameless, overcoming all obstacles for our good...and ultimately becoming the sacrifice for our sin. The One who has walked in our shoes and understands our hearts!
...but placing that manger scene on the mantle doesn't mean we have honored the true meaning of the season.
so this Christmas my goal is to not just put in my time at the candlelight church service. I want to take some time to ponder the scene at the manger where Jesus lay alive and well, against all odds as Herod destroyed many-a-baby in hopes of depleting the hope of all those waiting for the King to be born.
...Jesus...the "peace that passes understanding" ...the hope of nations....my reason for using this season to live outside of myself for once in my life.
This is not to say that people shouldn't enjoy the holiday (cause check out my last blog ...i'm loving me some advent adventures) or that you shouldn't grasp the spirit with all the force of Ebenezer the morning after his visit from the spirits....by all means, grasp away! I have come to realize through the tragedy in Connectict that there is something special in a child's excitement and hope in the magic of Christmas (and even Santa). I want my kids to have an innocence and joy of the fantasy while they are still unaware of the pain of the holidays for many. At the same time, I want them to think of actively loving others through service as a normal part of our holiday...our life.
Try to remember that Ebenezer's greatest joy was blessing those around him and passing along his "cup of cheer" to Tiny Tim and the others. I encourage you to reach out to a "Tiny Tim"....not because you want to put in your good deed before the year's end, but because sharing a little Christmas hope can go a long way...
...and because at some point in time, each of us will need the blessing of hope found in the random gift of a "Christmas goose" or "plumb pudding" given to us by a friend ...or better yet, a stranger!
...and because at some point in time, each of us will need the blessing of hope found in the random gift of a "Christmas goose" or "plumb pudding" given to us by a friend ...or better yet, a stranger!
